A Selection Of Favorite Tweets From The First Half Of 2011

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I’ve linked directly to the tweets so you can go fav them yourself, if you want.

Industry Nonsense

Michael Karlsson—“‘So this SEO copywriter walks into a bar, grill, pub, public house, Irish bar, bartender, drinks, beer, wine, liquor’ #nördhumor #seose”

Ethan Marcotte—“Come on, Internet Explorer! You can totally do it! I believe in yoh god how did you manage to get poop in your hair?”

Karin Dalziel—“I have the song ‘Final Countdown’ by Europe in my head now, except with ‘IE Countdown’.”

Vulgarity & Naughtiness

Lee—“4 gallons of lube just showed up in my office and I thought, ‘Why don't I tweet more?’”

Jenny—I don’t care what you’re talking about, never refer to something as “the perfect moistness.”

Jenny—“My toilet is broken. It sounds like it's whispering secrets—secrets nobody wants to know.”

Elliot Jay Stocks—“‘Grow to the size you've always imagined!’ Hooray—finally an email with news on how to replicate the scene at the end of Akira!”

Amanda Thorpe—“Menstruation is nature’s worst ‘everything’s ok’ alarm.”

Lindsay Dofelmier—“I just learned the term ‘fuck trophy’. Of course it’s a term @SSutton & @minervajayne invented for what the rest of us know as ‘kids’.”

Philosophy & Deep Thinking

Micah Mertes—Everybody always thinks a baby’s going to grow up to be a good person.”

The Guy—“I know that they exist, but I've never met anyone named Ernie.”

Eric L M Shuman—“Experimenting with Pandora, I put in ‘Friday’. 1st track, Kesha: wife mistook for the same song. Skip ahead: Ace of Base. Experiment OVER.

Jamie McKelvie—“When I see a tall person with a small head in an overcoat, I imagine it's really 3 kids on each other's shoulders pretending to be an adult.”

Jason McDowell—“Tried, and failed, to come up with a good lead up to this punchline: Overeaters Anomnomnom. Good luck.”

Lifestyle & Culture

Ethan Marcotte—“Six Things I Wish I Wasn’t: 1. Awake since 4.15am 2. Bad at lists.”

Bryan Lee O’Malley—“OUT: ‘your mom’ jokes. IN: jokes to your mom, about you.”

Kathy SteinauerSmith—“Apparently if you are a black dog on the #LNK trails, you must wear a red collar. #fashionableattire”

Ali Peterson—“I’ve only got enough money to make it sprinkle.”

Jamie McKelvie—“People retweet the strangest things. (Please RT)”

On a related note, you can follow me on Twitter at revoltpuppy.

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